Hi Roo,
Remember how on earth, I was the only person that was ever even remotely hard on you . . .like telling you to try harder, walk straighter, alternate on steps and a bunch of other worthless advice. Now I have some hard core feedback for you as my guardian angel, you totally suck at it. Are you even watching me? Given the crap that gets threw, what the hell are you preventing from happening to me? Let’s talk yesterday for instance (and this is coming off of my totally shitty Thursday which is already documented). It’s my first (and only since school’s out now) free Friday since my therapy graduation. So, I talk the dog to the vet about the weird thing on his skin. Guess what, although I’m guessing you knew. Skin cancer for Zeus. He needs an operation and has medium chances. After breaking that nugget to Haley (who actually stopped saying “if Zeus dies, can we get a bunny” in light of his health issues although Daddy still took a swing at me and said that I don’t really like him anyway. Who says that to somebody??!!), Haley decides she wants to go swimming. It was really too cold (I have my 85 degrees min) but she bugged me enough to cave. As I was going out to get the pool ready, there was a dead chipmunk in it (although I did mistakenly call it a squirrel for 4 hours until Haley said it was a chipmunk). Then I have to fish a dead chipmunk out of the pool, I’m not cut out for this. How, as my supposed guardian angel, can you possibly justify this fashizzle.
Sure, you can argue that you gave me two beautiful days of weather for PPR, but we both know that you did that for Leah. And, if I was going to believe in signs, the last two you sent me had nothing to do with me. But, you do choose to have a white dove fly past Mrs. Van Erp when she was praying for peace. Are you serious? Where’s my fucking dove? And, yeah, I assume you know the “F” word now. You are not allowed to say it though unless you can use it correctly and meaningfully in a sentence (same rules as on earth). Basically, I don’t think you are my guardian angel, I must have some loser who never pays attention. Here’s where you might be able to help . . . if you get assigned any chipmunks (or squirrels), keep them out of my damn pool. And, go tell my angel to get off his ass (I obviously have a boy) and throw me a bone.
I love you anyway though.
Mommy
